Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Intruder Alert!

Monday was quite a day around here. Knowing I had a lot to get done, I was up early (well, early for someone who just finished a stretch of night shifts). :) As I was getting ready to leave, the maintenance man for the apartments knocked on my door.


A little background:


My heater stopped working sometime last week. Since I'm not at home several nights during the week, this wasn't a huge problem. It doesn't get that cold during the day here very often, and when it does, it just makes me sleep better. All this to say, I didn't report it as soon as I realized why my apartment was so cold each morning when I got home from work. (and yes, it took a couple of days to figure this out since I'm often one small step above comatose when getting home from work) Not wanting to be bothered while trying to sleep, I just decided to tough it out until I had a couple of days off where I could be awake during daylight hours to let the maintenance man in. So, I reported the problem Sunday, and the wonderful maintenance man showed up first thing Monday morning.



Although very grateful that he was able to fix the problem in about 45 minutes, it did set me back a little getting on the road. I did eventually leave, and went to my first destination . . . Sam. (this is the little boy - now 4 years old!!!! - who I took care of for about 10 months in the hospital) Well, his birthday was about a week ago, and I hadn't had a chance to give him his present. Since I'm still having some residual symptoms from being sick a week or so ago, I didn't want to stay around him for fear that I might make him sick. So, this was a very short visit - just enough to see him open his present & visit with his foster mom for a little while. :) It was wonderful to see them again . . . he looked so good!!!!


From there, I went to another friend's house to help set up for a cookie party. We had a great time visiting. One of our friends that came to the cookie party was a former roommate from A&M whom I hadn't seen since leaving there years ago. We had so much fun catching up! :) I didn't get any pictures at the party, but Melissa did, so I'm sure she'll post them sometime... (hint, hint) ;)



After everyone left, we cleaned up a little and then I headed home. I was visiting on the phone with one of my friends in Virginia on my way home (another roommate from A&M who is having her 3rd baby tomorrow!!) and started craving some Freebirds - a favorite restaurant from Aggieland. So, I turned in to grab some dinner before getting home. I guess God knew I'd need some extra strength for what I was going to face when arriving home . . .



I had an intruder in my bathroom!





This picture was taken this morning after the 13 hour battle had ended. In case you can't tell, it's a lizard lying upside down in a pool of Raid.


So, back to last night . . .



I walked into my bathroom and noticed something strange looking on the side of my tub. After a double take, I realized it was a lizard!!!! GROSS!!!!!!!! (I'm guessing it got in while the maintenance man had the ceiling opened to fix the heater.) Now, I am terrified (I'm not sure if that's a strong enough word for how I feel about them!) of lizards, so this was NOT a happy realization. After standing there paralyzed in fear for a minute or two, I started griping at God for letting me living alone or for me not having a little boy who would think this is cool & want to catch it for me to throw it outside. (irrational thoughts, yes, but I wasn't thinking clearly!) So, I shut the door, ran to the kitchen, and grabbed the only thing I could think of:

My original Weapon of Mass Destruction

Granted, this can does not claim to have the power to kill lizards of any kind, but it was my only hope at this point. And, having used lavender linen spray to kill (or at least stun until I worked up the nerve to smash) smaller bugs in the past, I figured it was my best bet when faced with the massive reptile! :) So, Raid in hand, I called my dad for support/suggestions. With him unavailable, I called my sister to see if her husband had any great wisdom. The picture that kept coming to mind as I looked at this intruder on the side of my tub was from that old movie Jurassic Park. It's the scene where "Newman" (from Seinfeld) is face to face with the innocent looking small lizard when it suddenly blows up into this huge, venom spitting creature. (again, irrational thoughts, I know) :) For this reason, I was too scared to get close to this creature! So, on the phone with my sister for emotional support, I stood in one corner of my bathroom and sprayed with all my might at the lizard. Unfortunately, not only did this not instantly kill the intruder, it still had enough strength to run & hide from me!

Now, not only was there a live lizard in my bathroom, but I didn't know where it was. Talk about fear growing exponentially with the unknown factor thrown into the mix! At this point, I needed to just get out of there, so I created Lake Raid in the floor of my bathroom, stuffed a towel under the door and closed it. I then logged onto the internet to look up the effects of Raid on lizards. Come to find out, others have used Raid to kill these intruders in the past, which not only made me feel better about my weapon of choice, but it gave me hope that mine was in there dying - albeit slowly.

I asked a couple more friends what I should do, to which one said, "trap it with a bowl or cup and throw it outside." Well, I'm NOT GOING TO GET THAT CLOSE. Next . . . Another friend suggested that I hit it with a broom. Why hadn't I thought of that?!? (again, not thinking clearly last night!) So, out comes my next WMD:

The stabber/smasher (a.k.a. a Swiffer Sweeper)


After building my courage back up (which took more at this point after reading online that lizards could climb walls, walk on the ceiling, and fall on my head!!!! - sometimes the internet is NOT helpful!), I entered the bathroom - checking the walls and ceiling before each step - with Raid in my left hand and the Swiffer in my right. No luck. The intruder was no where to be found. . . not that I was down on the floor really searching. I was "bravely" standing just inside the bathroom straining to see around (& yes, through) objects in the hopes that it would appear. :) Out of luck and courage at this point, I grabbed what I needed for the night and "locked up" my bathroom - after adding a little more volume to Lake Raid.


After a fitful night of sleep, I awoke with a new found determination to NOT let this intruder best me. After all, I'm a human and it's a reptile. I should be able to outsmart it!! :) Armed with my faithful WMD's, I entered the now "country fresh" scented room (thanks to Lake Raid). Again, no luck seeing the intruder. So, my next plan was to just start spraying the floor randomly in the hopes that I'd hit it. Well, I did! Only it seemed to make it come withing mere inches of my left foot. Well, that was enough for me! I quickly backed out of the room, spraying as I moved, and shut the door. After getting my heart rate back to it's baseline (about 5 minutes of deep breathing) :), I decided to be brave one more time. . .


I entered the room, having added one more WMD:


Object mover/lifter (a.k.a. kitchen tongs)


This time, quoting Philippians 4:13 in my head, I entered the room ready to end this ordeal. Thankfully, I saw it running in a circle behind the toilet. I'm thinking it was high on Raid at this point - or maybe I was! :) I just started spraying at it. It ran to the corner between the toilet and tub. To this, I responded with a solid spray around it - thereby "trapping it" by a "moat of Raid". Again, I left the room for a couple of minutes. When I came back in, I saw it lying upside down in the same corner where I had just left it. Not wanting to celebrate too soon and have it spontaneously come back to life to attack me, I stood there and sprayed some more Raid on it. NO CHANGE!! :) Needless to say, I was elated at this point!


Now, to get rid of it. My original plan, before I picked up WMD #1 last night, was to kill it, let rigor set in, and scoop it up with the "intruder remover":



My WMD #4 (a.k.a. fly swatter)


Well, after this epic battle that had lasted 13 hours, I wasn't about to sit and wait for rigor to set in - or to give it the chance to come back to life while still in my bathroom. I was ready to have full access to my entire apartment again. Armed with WMD's #1, #2, & #4, I entered the bathroom. First, I used the Swiffer to smash it a few times just to make sure it was at least stunned enough to not come alive. Then, I started the trick of "scooping it up" onto the swatter. Honestly, this was NOT an easy task with the limp, Raid saturated lizard!! But, it was doable. I quickly deposited my late intruder into its final resting place:



(a.k.a. toilet) :)


After flushing a few times to make sure it was gone, the clean up began. It took a little work to clean up Lake Raid and the "moat of Raid", but it's done now. I'm hoping the -what is now probably permanent - smell of Raid will ward off any future intruders of any kind! :)


So, as a reward for the Victor (me), I got a yummy breakfast AND was able to eat in peace knowing that I had won over the intruder that had held me hostage for 13 hours! YAY!!!! :)





So, to answer the age old question of "Will Raid kill a lizard?" . . . YES, it will!!!!


I hope you also had a good/adventurous Monday. Now, on to the rest of the week! :)

8 comments:

Melissa said...

Are those sausage rolls? mmmmm.

Too funny! I know it wasn't for you, but reading the blog was for me. I didn't know about this lizard problem of yours. Or at least I didn't realize the true extent of it. I am glad that you conquered!

Anonymous said...

sounds like it was quite the epic adventure. glad to know you'll be able to sleep soundly tonight :)

Mandy said...

I am crying, I am laughing SO hard!!!!!!!!!! The mental pictures in my head helped me recount the story!!!! I am proud of you!

Julie said...

I can totally see you doing this Jen! You crack me up!

Natasha said...

That's too funny! I'm glad you finally beat your opponent and it looks like you had a delicious reward for all your efforts! :-)

Missy said...

It was great seeing you and catching up on Monday!

Glad you showed that lizard who is boss!!

Janna said...

You retold the story well. I loved your various uses for the WMDs. Never would I have thought to use a swiffer, but with the flat surface that was smart! Glad you are able to see the humor and feel the pride in getting rid of the lizard.
I would have tried to catch it or get it to be swept outside.

Rebecca said...

Oh my goodness that is HILARIOUS!! I am trying NOT to laugh histarically, since both kids are currently taking naps and I'm scared I'll wake them up...but it's been incredibly hard to read that post and to hold it all in...I think I'm done crying, though...

I'm glad that you've managed to rid your apartment of its intruder!