Thoughts, Vulnerability, & Scriptures

It's late - especially for me! I have WAY to many thoughts flying around in my mind right now, so I decided to write them out and find scriptures to combat them. So, basically, this is just a blog to help me find peace tonight and get some sleep. Probably won't be too interesting for you. :)

My precious little "Sammy" is sick and in the hospital, again. This breaks my heart since it is most likely a picture of what the rest of his life will be. One infection after another until he finally succumbs and goes to spend eternity with Jesus. He is such a happy little boy, and we've all been so blessed that God has allowed him so much time here on Earth. I just hate to see him sick and in pain. I know that God loves him even more than I ever could.

Mark 10: 14, 16

" 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.' . . . And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."

My sister is struggling with her health, also. She's been fighting with this disease for years, and it seems to be getting worse. Numerous doctors have tried different methods to no avail. I know the frustration of hearing a doctor say, "I don't know what to try next." I also know the frustration of being on the other side - someone in the medical field and being absolutely helpless in a situation. I see that side many days at work when we've done all we can, and it's still not helping. All I can do is pray for her release from this. I know that's a very powerful tool to have, but sometimes it doesn't seem like much to do - especially for someone who likes to have an answer and a way to solve problems. (It's the analytical/problem solver part of me that struggles with this situation most!) My dad shared a song with me by Nicole C. Mullins called One Touch

(WARNING: Be sure to grab your Kleenex before listening to the song!) The story in the Bible that this song came from can be found in Mark 5: 25-34

(vs. 28) " 'If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.' "

(vs. 34) " 'Daughter, your faith has healed you.' "

Today was my last Sunday here in Virginia - at least for a while. I'm not closing the door on coming back here for another stint in this NICU, but I don't see myself moving up here permanently - at least right now. I don't know what God has planned. On to the point . . . it was my last Sunday here, which means it was my last time to go to the church I fell in love with last summer. Honestly, it was one of the major reasons I returned to this area a second time. God is doing amazing things in this area of the country through the faith of His people here at MBC. Once again, I'm sad to be leaving this church. It's been such a blessing to me. As you know, music is a HUGE part of my life, and the music at this church - whether attending the traditional or more contemporary services - is always incredible. The worship leaders are so gifted. And then there's the pastor. What a man of God with a heart the size of Texas! Granted, it took a little "getting used to" last summer. (He's naturally a 'loud' person, which doesn't really agree with me.) He gives such insight into the scriptures. It's always a pleasure to listen to him teach! I also love the mission focus of the entire church. The Sunday night worship service, Frontline, "sent out" six different mission groups tonight - some local and some foreign missions. How amazing is that?!? I've been so blessed to get to be a part of this church!


Matthew 18:20
" 'For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.' "


Marriage . . . A friend of mine recently suggested I take an assignment in Alaska. The reasoning behind this is that there's a 12 to 1 ratio of men to women there. It made me laugh because when we took a family cruise vacation there, the running joke on board was that "the odds are good, but the goods are odd!" :) It's not the first time people have hinted about me still being single and pushing the BIG 3 - 0 (or, as I like to call it, 20-10). Some friends back home went so far as to suggest that I only travel for a year or two so I'd have time to get married and raise a family. In other words . . . "You're getting on up there - not so much time to play anymore." Well, I still don't know what God has in store for me in that respect. And that's OKAY! :) I honestly believe I'm where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do right now. So, my plan is to continue on this path, even if it sends me into my 30's, still single. I do want to eventually get married (IF that's what God has planned for me) and raise a family. I don't know if I've already met my future husband and just don't realize it or if he's waiting around the bend. It's all a mystery and kinda exciting. I recently bought a cd by Bebo Norman. It's one of his earlier works. The song A Page is Turned is on this cd, and I've decided that I want it played at my wedding someday! Below are the lyrics:

A page is turned by the wind to a boy in curly grin With a world to conquer at the age of ten

But as history unfolds and the storybook is told He finds salvation but not at the hands of man
And the God of second chance Picked him up and He let him dance Through a world that is not kind

And all this time, preparing him, the one To hold him up when he comes undone

Beneath the storm, beneath the sun And now a man, here you stand Your day has come

A page is turned in this world to reveal a little girl With a heart that's bigger, as it is unfurled

By the language in her soul, that's teaching her to grow With a careful cover of love that will not fail
And the God of second chance Picked her up and He let her dance Through a world that isn't kind

And all this time, preparing her the one To hold her up when she comes undone

Beneath the storm, beneath the sun And grown up tall, here you are Your day has come

Beneath the air of autumn, she took him by his hand And warm within the ardor, she took his heart instead And high upon the mountain, he asked her for her hand Just for her hand

A page is turned in this life, he's making her his wife And there is no secret to the source of this much life

When the grace that falls like rain is washing them again Just a chance to somehow rise above this land
Where the God of second chance Will pick them up and he'll let them dance Through a world that is not kind And all this time, they're sharing with the one That holds them up when they come undone

Beneath the storm, beneath the sun And once again, here you stand

And once again, here you stand Your day has come

A few of my scriptures on this topic (and I have a LOT, so these are just a few) are below:

Jeremiah 29:11

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "

Esther 4: 14

" 'And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?' "

Job 1: 21

" 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.' "

Psalm 15: 5-6

"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

And last, but not least . . . my theme verse:

Lamentations 3:24

"I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' "

As my friend in college, Jen Seeker, pointed out - the use of the word "portion" is critical in this verse. It's used to describe the exact amount that I need. Just like a portion size in a meal, Jesus is the exact right amount of everything to fulfill me! That gives so much peace. :)

Well, after rambling for an hour and a half on here, I feel much better. Like I said, this is how I work through my anxious thoughts when they keep me up - pray through them with scripture.

Birthdays & Friends

A new year has started - at least in my little world. :) I had my 29th birthday a couple of weeks ago. Looking back over my 28th year, I have to say that it was a great year! Full of adventure, new & old friends, and learning. I left on my first travel nursing assignment 2 days after my 28th birthday, and now, I'm a "seasoned" travel nurse (having done it for a year). I'm looking forward to what this year brings into my life as I continue on this journey.

My birthday was a great day. I got to sleep in (very important after working 4 days in a row!!), cleaned a little/did a little laundry, and relaxed - pretty much a "me day"!! :) Since I'm not a huge fan of cake, I decided to make my own birthday concoction of ice cream, fudge sauce, and peanut butter M&M's. (the picture below)

It doesn't look spectacular, but it was YUMMY!!!! :)

Late that night, one of my best friends from Texas flew up here to spend some time visiting our nations capitol. How fun!! To be able to stay up late enough to pick her up from the airport, I drank LOTS of caffeine. So, needless to say, after picking her up, we were both still WIDE AWAKE!! We decided to drive downtown and take some pictures of the monuments all lit up. I drove around and she poked her head out my sun roof or out of her window to snap some pictures. Luckily, there's not much traffic around 2AM downtown!! :)

The Jefferson Memorial

Over the next several days, we proceeded to see most of the sights in Washington, DC . . . much to the dismay of Mandy's tired feet! :) We got to go to the International Spy Museum. I highly recommend this museum (even though it's not free) if you like spy movies/books or mysteries. It's very fun and interactive. My "personality" was Gretta, a German astronomer. :) Being a lover of mysteries, this was probably my favorite thing we did!

Me & Mandy in front of the International Spy Museum

Another day, we rented a paddle boat and played around in the Tidal Basin in front of the Jefferson Memorial. Per Coast Guard regulations, we "got" to wear very cute life vests, which you'll see in the picture below. :) It was a little windy that day, so steering and paddling was a bit of a challenge, but it was VERY fun! Mandy was able to get a few more pictures of the Washington Monument (making the total somewhere near 20) :) while we were out in the water.

Me in the paddle boat in front of the Jefferson Memorial

The last day of tourism, Monday, we got to take a Capitol tour and then went to the Library of Congress. On the short walk from the Capitol exit to the Library of Congress, we passed a woman on the sidewalk trying to feed one of the squirrels running wild there. Amazingly enough, the squirrel bit her instead of taking the food. (shocking, huh?!?) :) The part that blew my mind is that she didn't learn her lesson from this pain and went back for more!!!! As we passed her & her friend, she was leaning down to try again. When we were a little ways down the sidewalk, we heard her yelping again in pain - from what I'm assuming was yet another bite from the squirrel. The phrase that came to my mind was: Bite me once, shame on you; bite me twice, shame on me!! Some fools never learn. :) Anyway, we went on (full of laughter & amazement at some people's stupidity) to the Library of Congress. (Kinda ironic if you think about it - leaving ignorance behind as we enter the Library) This is a GORGEOUS building!! Apparently, I have been there before - a LONG time ago when our family came up here on summer vacation. My focus that trip was counting ALL the stairs we went up and down (totalling around 2000?). :) So, not remembering this building, I was very impressed this time with the detail of the decorations. I read a great book by David Baldacci earlier this year (The Collectors) where one of the main characters worked in the rare books division of the Library of Congress. Because of this, it was especially fun for me to see this building. :)

Inside the main gallery of the Library of Congress

It was a wonderful week catching up with an old friend and seeing the sites of DC. What a fun way to start out the 29th year of my life! I can't wait to see what God has in store for me in the remaining 11 1/2 months of this year. :) Have a wonderful day!

Night Life

It's back to night shift for me over the next two weeks. So, I probably won't be doing much exploring/sight seeing during that time. Fortunately, one of my good friends from Texas was here for the past week, and we did "DC in Six Days"!! :) Much to her amazement (and VERY sore feet), I drug her around most of Washington DC over the past week and took hundreds of pictures. We saw the usual touristy stuff and some things I hadn't yet seen. I'll post some new pictures and funny stories later. I hope you have a wonderful day, and I'd appreciate your prayers as I work nights for the next little while again!

Looking Back/Looking Forward . . .

I've been gone a year today! Last year, on Thursday, July 13th, my dad was driving me to DFW to drop me off for my first BIG ADVENTURE. It's hard to believe I've been travelling for a year already. I had such mixed emotions that day: fear, anxiety, sadness, excitement, hope, . . . I can still picture landing at Reagan, traipsing through the airport with my 100+ pounds of luggage to the rental car place, and then the real excitement beginning as I tried to navigate the roads of the DC Metropolitan area - NOT a task for the novice!! :)

So much has happened over the past year - good and bad. I feel like I've learned so much about myself and depending of God. My hope is that I've grown closer to Him through these experiences. I know I've learned a TON more about neonatal nursing, and much to my dismay, I've had to learn more about pediatric nursing as well. :) It's been a great adventure, and I'm so glad my friend at Medical City, Trina, suggested I try it. I've now had the opportunity to pass on the idea to a new nurse looking for an adventure of her own. God has blessed me with a wonderful church here in the DC area that I loved so much last year when I was here, I was all but giddy at the thought of getting back to it on my return 'tour of duty' here in DC. He's also put wonderful people in my life that encourage and teach me along the way. I've made some great, lasting friendships through my travels, as well as seen some parts of the country I would have probably never seen if not for travel nursing.

I don't know what God has in store for my future, - honestly, who really does? - but I believe I'm going to continue travelling at least for a little longer. I've been an East Coast Beach Bum for the past year, so I think it might be fun to try out some West Coast Sand. :) We'll see where God puts me next. Thank you for going on my journeys with me, and I look forward to sharing more with you in the future! Most importantly, thank you for the continued prayer support!! I would be such a mess without your prayers! The other day, a girl at work asked why I was always smiling. I was able to say that I have a wonderful family and group of friends that love me and pray for me daily, and that helps me get through even the most difficult of days. You are a blessing to my life! Have a wonderful weekend!!

Silver Linings

I've always considered myself somewhat of an optimist. I can usually find the "silver lining" to a situation - a must some days in my job. :) Well, today I woke up a little irritated with life, and that makes it hard to find joy the in little things. On my way home from work this evening, after a bit of a rotten day, I was grumbling at God. Then, as He always does, He showed His love & faithfulness to me - tonight, in a literal Silver Lining! As I looked up to the sky, the sun was just behind a huge cloud. The entire top of the cloud was lit along the edge with rays shining up towards heaven. I wish my camera had been in the car with me so I could share the picture with you! Suffice it to say that it was BEAUTIFUL!! :) Talk about an attitude adjustment.

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,

slow to anger,

abounding in love and faithfulness."

-Psalm 86:15

Once in a Lifetime Oppportunities

In keeping with my nurse travel theme of "why not?", I decided to join the throngs of people watching the Capitol Fireworks show last night instead of just going to bed early. :) I am SO glad that I went! It was truly a once in a lifetime opportunity. As I drove home from work last night - mostly sitting in traffic :) - I looked out on the Potomac and was amazed at all the boats/yachts out waiting for the fireworks show. I've heard that sitting in a boat on the Potomac is one of the best viewing places for the show. Apparently, these people heard the same story! I had my camera with me, so I snapped a picture of all the boats. This view is from the ramp going from 395 south onto the GW Parkway where I got to sit for a little while. :)


Seeing all the cars parked along the side of the road - and some ON the road - as I drove home, I decided that I most likely wouldn't be able to find a place to drive to & park to see the fireworks. All the legal (& some not so legal) parking spaces were already taken, so I just went on home to get some food. I did notice some people walking towards DC, though. After I "refueled" and changed out of my hospital funk clothes, I decided to join the trek towards the district. Ever safety conscious, I took my ID, insurance card and cell phone (just for you, mom!). :) It was completely safe! I honestly believe that ALL the police officers from the area were required to work last night - sad for them, but good for me! It was only about a 20 minute walk to get to the Arlington Cemetery from my apartment, which is where I was going to watch the show. My pastor in college (Bobby), a true & longtime lover of Washington, DC, said his favorite place to watch the show was from Arlington Cemetery, which is just directly across the river from the monuments. Since I hadn't taken a purse or bag, I just walked right through the security check point, which saved MUCH time. I ended up getting an amazing view of the show from the side of a hill. Some people nearby had a radio or TV that was playing patriotic music loudly enough for all of us to enjoy - a nice touch since we couldn't exactly hear the music from the Mall. :) I took lots of pictures, and I attached a few of the better ones. I hope you enjoy them!

By the way, what you're looking at just below the fireworks is the Lincoln Monument, the Washington Monument, and the Capitol (left to right).

And, last but not least, my favorite picture! It highlights the Lincoln Monument. :)

It was truly the best of both worlds: all the pretty lights & sites with NONE of the loud booms!! I highly recommend doing this if you ever have the opportunity!!

Random Thoughts From Travelling

I went home this past weekend for my cousin, Lacey's, wedding. It seems that I almost never get on a flight that leaves at the scheduled time. Is it just me, or does it happen to everyone who flies these days. Well, Friday was no exception to that rule. :) Sitting in Terminal C at Reagan National Airport, I met some friendly people from San Antonio. As our flight departure time kept getting pushed back in 15 minute increments, we all got a good chuckle - mainly because there was no airplane at our gate. Yet they continued to say we would be boarding shortly. Boarding what?!? :) Now, I don't really pay attention to politics much (which makes me a minority in this part of the country!). So, when I saw someone sitting near me in the terminal that looked like a famous person, I sat there racking my brain trying to figure out who it was. I finally just asked the guy sitting next to me while he was snapping pictures of the poor man reading his paper with a camera phone. It turns out it was Sen. John McCain! :) Needless to say, I felt like an idiot!! Oh, well. One man from the San Antonio group decided that he was going to be my entertainment while we waited for a plane to arrive. He proceeded to give he his life story - as well as that of his 3 children & his wife. (hooray for me!!) At one point, he had gotten up to go check with the gate, so I took this opportunity to sneak away & get a LARGE cup of coffee. When I returned, I sat in another area, but he found me and picked up where he had left off. It always amazes me how much people share with complete strangers! I guess I'm just a more private person than most.

Well, we did eventually get a plane and take off. It was such a pleasant flight! The skies were beautiful & mostly clear throughout the majority of the flight so we could see the landscape below. It made me think back to junior high earth science classes. Good memories! :) On the shuttle bus to get my rental car, a mom was trying to explain the basic laws of physics to her son - who looked about 8 years old! I sat there wondering why she thought this was so important for him to understand right then. It just struck me as a little odd.

Later that afternoon, I was able to visit with a friend and her foster son - a little boy who is very dear to my heart! It was so nice to see them. Once he woke up completely from his little nap, he showed me how he'd learned the motions to "Wheels On The Bus" - doing the wheel, wiper, and door motions for me as his foster mom & I sang the song for him. I won't go into detail about him and all of his struggles; suffice it to say that this was a MIRACLE! :) It was the first time that song had ever brought tears to my eyes. God knew exactly what I needed that day, and as usual, He provided in abundance!!

Friday night and Saturday, I had some quality time with family - immediate and extended. The wedding ceremony was one of the most precious I've seen. It was evident to everyone that God was present! What a beautiful worship service while two people joined their lives! I was so happy to have been able to attend.

Sunday, our Congressman, Rep. Louie Gohmert, preached the sermon at my parents' church. His sermon was about our country's heritage of faith. I've never really been too excited about history, but I thoroughly enjoyed hearing how our founding fathers were men of such great faith. My goal, after the service, was to meet him and thank him. Last year, when I was working up here in the DC area during the Christmas holidays, I sent him/his office a request to tour the White House & the Capitol while the Christmas decorations were up. Little did I know that this was a difficult chore. :) Nevertheless, his office came through and got me a tour to both!! As you probably know, I'm a HUGE Christmas fan. (probably an understatement!) This has always been a dream of mine, and Rep. Gohmert managed to make it happen. So, my mom and I found him, and I had the opportunity to introduce myself, shake his hand, & thank him. Needless to say, I was very excited!

After a very busy and fun time, I came back to Arlington this evening. The man sitting next to me on the plane was visiting DC for the 1st time with his wife and daughter (another Aggie). :) It was very fun to see the excitement on their faces at seeing the monuments for the first time. As unbelievable as it is, I've gotten to where I just drive by it all as I go to & from work not appreciating what a special opportunity it is to get to see it all. It reminded me of seeing everyday things through a child's eye seeing them for the first time. The awe & wonder is contagious! It's always good to be reminded of the little things in life I take for granted. All in all, I had a great weekend! I hope yours was just as wonderful! :)